I started to practice dancing harder but it was also the time when I had the most fun. I was going on more stages than before. I saw myself on TV or magazines sometimes. Seeing myself through media made me feel so weird. When I stood on a stage , I felt this is what I live for!! I got a lot of inspiration from stages. At the time I was 16 and I thought I would continue this job past twenty. I was so young that I stacked to just one idea. I thought that was the only place I belonged. I started getting some money by dancing on the stages which I liked to do.Everything has its balance , so the reaction would come to me later..
Everything went well. This was the busiest time that I ever had. As soon as I came home on bicycle, I left to a studio to perform. At that time, I spent more time for work than I spent with my friends though I thought it was worth it to do.
I was already 17 years old. Classmates started thinking about going to University. I didn’t take it as serious as they did but I also started thinking about that. Some people go to University for nothing though I really didn’t want to do that. Then I checked Universities but something was always on my mind.. Going to a University seemed like walking on the typical side on life. At least I thought so at the time..
Time went on. I was doing the exact same thing for one year. In a way, nothing special happened. In a way, I could dance on the stages still as a back-dancer. Then I talked with the boys who had the same situation like me. We talked about if we continued dancing as back-dancers and were willing to be an idol. This talk was one of the turning points of mine. I still remember it rained that day and how the coffee shop was. We talked so deep. I also thought about that in my house. I noticed I ended up where I didn’t expect.. Maybe I went too far?? I knew these experiences gave me good inspirations though. “Should I keep dancing as a back-dancer??” my answer was no. “Do I wanna be an idol??” my answer was also no. Anyway I couldn’t sing well..
I started thinking why I chose this industry. To become popular wasn’t the reason. Now I think it’s because I can express myself and impress people. But I couldn’t figure it out at the time.. I said to my close friends who were in a similar situation, “I will quit.” I also told my agency that I wanted to quit. Thinking about that, I continued working there almost 3 years. It was a short time but also irreplaceable.
“What should I do next then? Do I really want to continue working in this industry??” I couldn’t find the answers. I decided to join a soccer club in high school because I always wanted to practice playing soccer. Maybe I bothered other students because I couldn’t play soccer well.. I thought soccer was a difficult sport, but interesting. But I realized that it wasn’t as exciting as dancing on the stages. I decided to quit after a half year. I told a manager that I had something that I couldn’t continue at the same time with soccer. I guess I bothered him a lot. But I swore myself to prove what I said to the manager. I might have lost myself because the environment that I was in changed…
At the end of the 2nd year in high school, I couldn’t get call backs for auditions. I felt I wanted to start something. I found an advertisement of English school. I started loving English when I was in 2nd grade in junior high school. I liked English the most after the entertainment industry. I thought I could learn how to speak English without failing an audition for it! I had thought I had a lot of time before getting involved in the industry again. I didn’t know why but I knew I would use English somehow in my future, so I had no doubt about learning English. My parents helped me financially. The money I borrowed was the largest amount of money I’ve ever had. At the time I was in 3rd grade in high school (17 years old) and my English life had just started.
About auditions, I still kept sending some resumes every month but not as much as before. I think that’s why I didn’t get any responses from agencies at the time. I doubted if my resumes reached them.. Well, I didn’t have the strong intention to pass auditions like before at the time. Because I realized I had to finish high school to concentrate on doing what I really wanted. Anyway it was so exciting to speak English in the English school!!
It seemed like my life changed every 6 months, I started feeling something was wrong. By the time I was doing nothing with the entertainment industry for about 1 year.
“I want to stand on the stage.”
Learning English was still fun though the feelings on the stage were the only thing I missed in my life. I wanted to do something to get involved in the entertainment industry. I wanted to express something that I felt inside me.
I started looking for a training school which I could go to at least once in a week. Then I got to see another forked road. From this time, It was still far until my life started coming together…
To be continued…
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