OK now it’s time for the grand finale for the past me!!I was writing this column to make the past me catch up with the present me. I had to tell a lot of stories to show the reason why I chose to become a Hollywood actor. I never thought about my past as I described it here. Now let’s go back to the topic!!
March 2006, when I was 19, finally I was thrown into the entertainment industry with nothing. Actually I did it by myself. I had nothing left. I didn’t have any savings at all and I didn’t belong to any agency. “Well what should I do??”
At this time in my mind, the idea to become an actor became solid. I just couldn’t figure out how to become an actor. I had nothing , so if I would become an actor from there, I thought I would become a skilled actor. It was I that was putting myself in harder situations. That could make me be more challenging. I remembered that when I was in junior high , I always challenged my limit. I also remembered my original intention.
“What should I do??” I talked to the true myself again. I always thought if I calmed down and talked to my real mind, my mind could always give me the real answers. I did it again like I did it when I decided to quit belonging to the biggest agency! I took a while until I found out my answers. At first I had to clarify what choices I had…
The first choice was finding an agency. Belonging to an agency meant I could have a lot of opportunities. The second choice was to belong to a training school for actors. Maybe most actors had to go through this step. My skills as an actor were not enough to get me back on the stages. Though I had experience in both already. Would I repeat the same things?? I didn’t like doing the same things over and over. So I tried to find other choices. I didn’t belong to any community at the time. But I didn’t think it was hopeless. I thought to myself, I couldn’t lose anything and that gave me freedom! I enjoyed spending time with my friends. But I also enjoyed being alone. When I was with my friends I could have fun and change ideas And when I was alone, I could discover ,more about myself. So I could face my true self. “Do what I really want to do! Do what others don’t do!” If we pursue to get ideas, they would always come into our brains suddenly. Then I got an idea..
I will go to Hollywood!!
Finally everything I did in my life came together. Everything was making sense about going to Hollywood. In my first column, I described that "Friday Foreign Movies Theater" gave me inspiring experiences. The experience was living inside of me quietly.. I had nothing left.. I only had time and freedom. That’s why I thought I shouldn’t waste my time as an actor by doing lessons inefficiently. I thought I wanted to touch the real entertainment industry at least in a few years. Because I knew somehow those experiences in Hollywood would help me someday. “OK let’s do my best and die for my dream!” Because I also thought America was dangerous. Anyway if I died when I was rotten, I would regretted , but if I died when I was trying to reach my dream , I wouldn’t regret it. I had to bet my life.
Then I had to get everything started. At first I felt I wanted to stay there at least 3 months. I wanted to study about America and wanted to make sure I liked it there. It was hard to keep my desire to go to American and work in Japan. Well what would I need ? I had to accomplish more things to make my dream come true.
The first thing I needed was better English skill. English .. Oh English!? That was familiar with me the most! I was studying English since I was in the 2nd grade in junior high. Finally my efforts for English came into an effect. My mother and older brother used to say “Why did you waste a lot of money for English??” I betrayed their bad expectation. The idea that I would use English in my life was correct. I became English an addict again. This time I tried to study English by myself.
One of the other things that I needed was information. I knew nothing about America. I didn’t know where to live , how long to visit and whether if I’d go to school or not. I just thought maybe the end of this year would be a good timing to go there.
The next thing I needed was money. For my aim , I decided to work harder. I didn’t like to make money by doing regular jobs though I had no choice, so I started working full time. I started taking it seriously and I threw away my biased view about regular jobs. I noticed I shouldn’t have waited for fortune to bring me good things. To get what I really wanted , I said to myself “Rely on myself. I’m the only one who can make my way!”
Of course one thing I had to get was a passport. I was 19 years old at the time. So I could only get a 5 year visa. It was the first time that I felt the time of my birthday’s importance. I decided to get a 10 year passport when I became 20 years old.
I might have had more stuff I needed. I knew what I had to get at the time. Then I became a job-hopping part-time worker. But I had strong ambitions.
To make my dreams come true , I didn’t care which job I chose. I just wanted to experience what I had never experienced and I also thought maybe it would be great if I got some skills by doing jobs. I got a lot of jobs like a trainer, a shop assistant, a bartender, a guard, a web developer, a worker in a warehouse, a salesman, an operator, and a photographer. Of course I worked as an actor. I liked creative jobs always but I disliked the job which I had to stay in one place like a guard. I kept working...
When I noticed, I was about to become 20 years old. My close friends celebrated with me. I was so happy about that because I didn’t have those kind of experiences a lot. When I was a teenager, I decided not to drink. So it became my first time to drink. I never thought beer tasted good. I thought other possibilities and responsibilities appeared to me. I went to the American embassy after a while. I could never forget the solemn atmosphere there. To get a passport, some people waited for 3 months. But I couldn’t wait that long, so I was worried about that. But I got it in 5 days!! Finally I got my own ID card with a picture of mine. The day I was suppose to leave was getting close. I was planning to have $3000 to $4000 for the US and go there in the end of this year. But I never happened…
I shouldn’t really get in to detail about this but my family had financial troubles at the time. My family asked me to stay in Japan longer. I was wavering between my dream and my family. I was suffering to make my decision. Finally I made my decision. “I will stay!” I wanted to do something for my family and I didn’t know what I could learn in America in 3 months. I had just quit the job as a photographer, then I had to find other jobs. I didn’t expect it but I would meet my destiny later..
One of the photographers like me asked me something. He told me his friend was looking for an actor. So my friend asked me to meet the aspiring director. I accepted and went to meet him…
I had 6 more months to make money in Japan. So to have more experiences , I accepted the director’s offer and I acted for him.
Well now about my English. I started learning English through the internet, books and friends. I was starting to remember how to speak in English. Still my accent of R and L were terrible though..
I started working as a sales person. When I was a teen, I didn’t have a lot choices about work. Because in Japan, they don’t give young people responsible jobs. I hated the fact that people saw only my age. I guess that was why I went into the field where older people worked..
By joining a student film, I realized I was still nothing as an actor. I had to prepare everything for my role. But no one helped me like when I acted on TV. The director’s existence was big for my life. I couldn’t act well at all. I got stressed about it and swore to myself to grow up. The director said he didn’t know why young aspiring actors like me didn’t watch movies. That was true. I had to know what kind of world I was trying to get into! I started watching movies more. I could learn something about acting through this shooting. I still couldn’t compare myself to other actors though. Finally we finished the long shooting. The day of my flight was coming…
How could I stay in America longer?? By becoming a student, the problem was solved. I became a language school student. I had less than $10000 though I decided to stay in America as long as possible. I couldn’t find a place to live until the last 2 months before trip. But my friend which I guided in Tokyo helped me. He told me that I could stay at his place. I couldn’t have met him if I went to America last year. It was like a miracle that I met a guy like him. It was time to say goodbye to my friends in Japan. I didn’t miss them because I thought we would be same even if we were staying in different places. I wasn’t scared about America but only one thing was on my mind. It was about my loving dog which I lived with for 14 years. I knew my family and my friends would be alright. But dogs can’t live as long as like we do. I thought this might be farewell.
Some people might think it’s stupid, but I could hardly avoid crying. I got a lot of things from him. Well finally the day was about to come…
June 30th
The day. The sky was so clear and I felt good. I talked to my family one by one. I was feeling the excitement which was swelling up from my mind! I spent a little time with my dog and left. My parents drove me to the airport. Some of my friends also went to the airport for me. I was happy to have good friends. We talked and laughed a lot. I ate curry rice at the restaurant in the airport. We took some pictures. It was about time..
I could never forget this moment. I went through the gate and I said to them
“I’ll be gone for a while!”
PS. Thanks for reading my column for 3 months!! I never expected, it would take 3 months! My life before going to Hollywood was like this. If I wrote everything too seriously, sorry about that!
This sounds like farewell?? No it’s not! I will continue writing my column as long as possible! Well I will write more in a couple of weeks! See you.
To be continued...
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